just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
