They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i came on her dog
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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