She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
