Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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