i wish my penis had a tongue
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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