HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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