Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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