she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
