I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
