She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
