So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
