I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
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Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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