WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize