just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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