shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
