i jhust puked up my retainher.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
