he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I want to be your penis for a week.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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