Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class

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  (925): This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class http://tfl.nu/1wvn
  Replies (9) Good night (2333) Bad night (613)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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  (937): We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now. http://tfl.nu/61xt
  Replies (32) Good night (3078) Bad night (722)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

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  (402): just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot. http://tfl.nu/9z8d
  Replies (24) Good night (4556) Bad night (819)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Becoming a productive member of society?

  (509): View more from Washington

  Sam. Come on.

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  (509): Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? (860): Becoming a productive member of society? (509): Sam. Come on. http://tfl.nu/hrkz
  Replies (38) Good night (6802) Bad night (881)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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  (401): you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it. http://tfl.nu/ggt5
  Replies (11) Good night (4555) Bad night (1389)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.

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  (919): So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee. http://tfl.nu/sup3
  Replies (16) Good night (4941) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

  (817): View more from Texas

  You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

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  (817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/hqk4
  Replies (35) Good night (10590) Bad night (1421)
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  (916): View more from California

  on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.

  (1-916): View more from California

  your optimism is becoming unhealthy

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  (916): on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day. (1-916): your optimism is becoming unhealthy http://tfl.nu/nzqt
  Replies (9) Good night (4428) Bad night (1512)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot

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  (815): i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot http://tfl.nu/m7cq
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (3012)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen

  (845): View more from New York

  That would be so convenient

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  (845): Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen (845): That would be so convenient http://tfl.nu/c28s
  Replies (12) Good night (3097) Bad night (1025)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes

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  (303): trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes http://tfl.nu/w6ny
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (447)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.

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  (717): I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it. http://tfl.nu/33t2
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (344)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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  (215): I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack? http://tfl.nu/k7vl
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (307)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of

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  (402): I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of http://tfl.nu/8cwz
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?

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  (207): You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet? http://tfl.nu/ukgu
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (386)

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