If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You ruined the universe