Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.

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(207): View more from Maine

If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.

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(912): View more from Georgia

if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

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(636): View more from Missouri

2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

(314): View more from Missouri

Please tell me those aren't related.

(636): View more from Missouri

I made rice.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee

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