I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
