This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
