Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
