i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
