kristin has been a bad kristin
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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