But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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