remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize