I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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