I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
