How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
