Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
