I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize