I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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