He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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