3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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