At least make sure they are 18
Why
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
how does that bad decision feel?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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