I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
