I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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