buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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