so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
