I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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