How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
