She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize