i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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