Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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