who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed