so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...