Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.