The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Even my vagina gasped.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize