there was a trapeze. enough said
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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