i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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