how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
