I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
