i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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