Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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