Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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