i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
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I forgot how hot balto sounded
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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