I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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