I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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