I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
