Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
