just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
